Miriam Racquel Feldman

YourMarriageMagic.com

Mindbody Marriage Magic Tips

Dear Awesome Woman,

Marine tried for the umpteenth time to explain to her husband that she doesn’t want certain words used around the children.

“Please, be more sensitive to what I’m asking you to change. It’s really not a big deal.”

Joe responded angrily, “Stop telling me what to do. You’re always so controlling and I don’t want to be muzzled.”

Marine walked away, frustrated. How can she get through to her husband her need for him to be more careful with his words? She understands that he’s a guy and does things differently, but she’s also a mama bear and feels protective of her kids. A few days go by before she can talk to her husband normally and though he’s accused her of stonewalling, she just doesn’t think that is what she’s doing. She just feels shut down.

Stonewalling seems to be a popular term. But what does it actually mean? And if you’ve tried your best to communicate with someone and they just don’t get it, then is it stonewalling if you sit in silence for a few days? Or is it just that you’re baffled that you can’t get through to that loved one no matter how many different ways you’ve tried and despair has set in?

The definition of stonewalling is refusing to communicate. It’s the act of shutting down, becoming disengaged, and being unavailable for connection. But I’d like to add to the definition that it is a manipulative technique to get someone to do what you want or to avoid taking responsibility. Sort of like emotional blackmail.

But if you’re not being manipulative with your silence, then I believe that applying the term “stonewalling” is not the case. Like these examples:

—You’ve tried to communicate your needs, thoughts, and desires and your spouse brushes them off or conveniently forgets. You don’t know what to do with your frustration and you’re at the point of despair. You’ve even gone for typical marriage counseling and yet, nothing has changed. You sit in silence for days.

—You’ve tried to ask your husband to stop behaving a certain way, and he agrees, but then doesn’t stop. You shut down and are at a loss for words. Your spouse says that you’re sulking and being difficult and yet, you don’t want to engage with him and act as if everything is fine.

—You’re married to a Narcissist/Borderline and all the communication in the world has not led to you feeling safe in your marriage. You’ve stopped communicating altogether, because really, what is the point?

These examples show that your silence and disengagement are not to get your spouse to change—you’re just flummoxed as to what to do with your frustration, your sadness, your confusion, your grief. Why should you pretend that everything is hunky-dory when it’s so not? Why should you try for the umpteenth time to have peace and communication when your spouse is really the brick wall, not you?

First of all, it’s good to know that you’re not stonewalling. You’re not a manipulative person, never have been and never will be. It’s just not your nature. What you are is a sensitive person in a difficult situation.

So now that we’ve clarified that you are not stonewalling, let’s try some other techniques to up the vibe of your marriage where there is more love, connection, and peace:

1) Get honest with yourself about your feelings.

Somatic healing has to do with the recognition that “emotions are energy in motion” and are physical sensations in your body. They flow and give wisdom when you notice them. Does your jaw feel tight, your eyebrows furrowed? Does your stomach feel like it’s holding rocks? Does your chest feel constricted? These physical sensations are emotions and are energetic. Take a moment to put your hand on those areas—you’re giving your body the message that you are listening to it.

In the privacy of your own room, your car, or even the bathroom, take some paper and a pen and write a letter to your husband completely expressing yourself—even shouting on the paper. You’re not going to show him this letter— this exercise is just for you to release all the stuck words in your head and heart. You don’t even have to write legibly, it can be super messy. It’s not for anyone’s eyes but yours.

Then tear up the paper and listen mindfully to the sound of the ripping. Life is a sensory experience and tuning into the sounds in your environment is very grounding to the body.

With this exercise, you’re preventing yourself from ruminating by dropping into your body (noticing the sensations) and letting out your thoughts and feelings freely. This is different than just talking it out with a friend or therapist, even though you can do that too.

Getting honest with yourself about how your body is affected by certain interactions as well as releasing some of the thoughts that swirl in your brain, can help you get wise as to how to move forward. You may hear your intuition sharing what can be done that hasn’t been tried before. Even dropping the attachment to the situation is something—perhaps you’re being triggered from a childhood wound or are future-tripping with your imagination about scary consequences that are simply not true.

Or not. The changes you desire may be very important.

But the first step is to drop into your body. The full somatic release technique—The ROAR! Process— rids the body of resentment and stress and may be of further help to you.

2) There are techniques of communication that can help and unfortunately, many women haven’t heard of them.

Some of these, I learned in my coach training with relationship author, Laura Doyle. They were game-changers for me in my marriage. I share a few in this Marriage Magic article: When There’s Tension With Your Husband Around Important Issues, Try This!

According to Kabbalah, men and women are different—there are biological, chemical and brain differences as well as cultural differences. Besides your husband having a different perspective on things, the male culture that he was raised in can be highly shaming and blunt. Vulnerability is not welcomed most of the time. Therefore, your husband may be highly allergic to shame, criticism, negative judgment, and expectation energy from you, his loved one. If you haven’t read your free e-guide, then I encourage you to do that today: 6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today!

3) If your husband is a Borderline/Narcissist, professional help is necessary.

Can people change? Sure. That being said, a marriage with a person who has many Borderline/Narcissist traits takes extra know-how and support. Changing even the dynamics of this kind of relationship is tricky to navigate. I encourage you to download my free e-guide—Escape from the Borderline/ Narcissist’s Web for greater understanding. The web is what you want to escape—the marriage, if you have children and financial dependence, may be necessary to maintain—with hope for change. Further guidance is always needed.

As you can see, relationships are very nuanced and people’s emotions are complex. Everyone is looking for love, security, and connection and we didn’t have classes in the art of giving and receiving, communication, and vulnerability in school. And that’s ok. It doesn’t have to be too late to start—it’s just having some tools and know-how to begin. Be kind to yourself in the process.

Need a helping hand? The Mindbody Marriage Magic path is where it’s not all talk, but an integration of your mind, body, and soul wisdom. I offer Marriage Magic sessions when you desire to increase the emotional safety, love, and connection in your relationship. Please schedule your Free 20-minute Marriage Magic Clarity Call today.

As a Somatic Healer, Relationship Expert & Clarity Coach, I’ve had the privilege of working with amazing clients worldwide. Each one discovers the healing powers of their bodies, the wisdom of their emotions, and the deep connection to their intuition as well as developing skills to create a marriage they love.

For dating: Dating Magic

For working individually or together with your husband (Couples Workshop): Marriage Magic

Please check out Client Love to read testimonials from clients whose lives and relationships have been transformed.

“Dovid, I want you to know that after working together with you and Miriam, my marriage is just so much better. I feel more secure, more loved, and more connected to than ever before—even more than while we were dating.” —A.S., Michigan (Couples Workshop)

“I reached out to Miriam Racquel shortly after I had just gotten married as my marriage was not turning out to be the fairytale I had always dreamed it to be. Within just a few sessions I began feeling so empowered to make positive, lasting changes in my marriage that I had control over, and the wisdom I have accessed through Miriam Racquel’s help has truly transformed my marriage into the playful, passionate one that I have always desired. I love the mind-body healing work that Miriam Racquel infuses into her sessions. These practices have allowed me to release my emotions in a powerful way and give me a great sense of relief, validation, and confidence to help me move forward with love.” —N.C.G., Georgia (Individual Work)

Love & blessings,

Miriam Racquel

Master Mindbody/Somatic Healer, Relationship Expert & Clarity Coach

couples:for singles for eguide, singles, marriage

July 7, 2021

When There’s Tension With Your Husband Around Important Issues, Try This!

Mindbody Marriage Magic Tips

Dear Awesome Woman,

Ever feel like you’re butting heads with your husband over how to manage a home, discipline the kids, tell the neighbor that they’re making too much noise, decorate the house, decide if and when guests can sleep over, etc.? Welcome to the world of marriage—two souls in bodies coming together and trying to be as one. The tension sometimes can be annoying, if not completely overwhelming.

So, what can you do to get your opinions heard and respected, yet not feel like you’re in battle if they differ from your husband’s?

When I have times like this with my husband—that of butting heads about important things—I try to remember this: we’re on the same team! We both want what’s best for each other, our family and our home. Once I click into this very important realization in the midst of a clash, my energy shifts—my guard drops and my nervous system calms down. And I communicate this to him—I’ll take his hand and say, “Hey, we’re on the same team! So how can we work together to make this happen?”

With this calmer energy, I’ll also share what my fears are. My internal tension and stress bubbles to the surface when I’m fearing something. So does my husband’s, but we’re usually locked in a battle of the brains—what he’s thinking and what I’m thinking about something, instead of dropping into our concerns and worries, desires and hopes about a situation. We each have emotions about what’s going on, but instead get into intellectual debates. So, when I realized this a few years back, I started a different tactic. Instead of staying locked into a “debate” of sorts, I’ll prod my husband to ask me what I refer to now as the “magic question”— “What are you afraid of, honey?” When he asks me this question, I’ll feel such compassion from him and a sense of relief in my body. Then the words will just bubble up and I’ll share all those fears and doubts. I’ll share with him what is really concerning me about the subject that we’re in conflict about. I’ll take him down the rabbit hole with me if it’s a fear or I’ll take him to the highest heights if it’s a hope. He’ll get a glimpse into my heart and then his inner tension will release resulting in him sharing his fears and concerns as well. That question is so helpful in bringing us together rather than apart!

I’ll also try to be conscious of using the Laura Doyle approach to sharing, which is stating preferences and desires in the manner of, “I’d like” or “I’d love.”

“I’d love my son to have that experience.”

“I’d love to make sure that I’m not “on” all the time with the guests. I’m an introvert and my downtime helps me de-stress from the constant energies around me.”

“I’d like the house painted because I’m feeling embarrassed when your mom comes to visit. I’m scared to be judged for not taking good care of our home.”

“I love feeding our kids organic because I’m afraid of the pesticides in the food. Spending a bit more relieves my fear of illness, even though I know nothing is guaranteed.”

I know many of us are dealing with big issues nowadays—life seems to be really topsy turvy. But I invite you to try these tips—calming your nervous system, exposing your feelings, getting vulnerable and finding agreement in the loving ways that you can. Connection is the key to resolving tension and remember, you’re on the same team.

Thank you for reading! I’m so excited that you’ve joined me on this Mindbody Marriage Magic path where it’s not all talk, but an integration of your mind, body, and soul wisdom. I offer Marriage Magic sessions when you desire to increase the emotional safety, love, and connection in your relationship. Please schedule your 20-minute free Marriage Magic Clarity Call today.

Download your free gift e-guide: 6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today!

If you’re dating, I’ve got an e-guide for you: Dating Magic

Sharing a few testimonials from clients whose lives have been transformed and you can check out more Client Love here.

“As a busy, working wife and mother, optimum mental and physical energy are paramount to living my best life. When a highly tense and deeply rooted family situation had me constantly anxious and exhausted, Miriam helped me find my breath. Together, we worked on the tension in my chest, stomach and entire body as we finally loosened the hold that this tense situation had on me. Through our sessions, I learned that love and respect of my body’s cues leads to higher functioning and real peace of mind.”

-R.T. , New York

“I worked with Miriam for six sessions. It has helped me enormously with many issues. I have been able to make changes in relationships and release pain from trauma. Miriam has taught me tools to use regularly to release tension. These tools are simple and quick which makes it easy to implement them. I am very glad that I reached out to Miriam. Her warmth, kindness and understanding are truly comforting!”

G.K., California

Love & blessings,

Miriam Racquel (Meryl)

MiriamRacquel.com

May 20, 2021

Powerful Femininity

Powerful Femininity

Mindbody Marriage Magic Tips

Dear Awesome Woman,

You know what makes you more awesome than you already are? It’s not what you expect.

It’s your ability to receive.

Yup, you heard me right. When you, as an awesome woman, are willing to receive, amazing possibilities open up to you. Your intuition gets stronger, your joy gets larger, your health gets better and doors (literally) open up to you.

I love the way relationship coach and author, Laura Doyle, goes into the details of this concept. Being receptive is the art of femininity. It is even closely connected to Kabbalah which explains that women, the feminine, are ‘mkabels’, which means ‘receivers’ in Hebrew.

So, let me ask you this question: How well do you receive? How often do you allow others to do for you and give to you? How often do you open your arms, surrender control, and welcome the vulnerability of receiving?

I know that for too many years, I tried to be the type of superwoman who attempted to do everything by myself, rejecting offers of help from others. I even rejected compliments. If someone complimented me or thanked me, I dismissed it with a “no big deal” statement. Or even worse, didn’t believe them.

But when I opened myself up to my divine gift of my femininity—my ability to receive—I claimed the knowledge that a Superwoman is a woman who knows that she has limited time, energy and resources. She chooses wisely, doing self care and respecting herself to rest, enjoy moments in time, and take action where she can.

She receives help with grace, honesty and humility because she knows that to be human means she can’t do it all herself. She receives gifts and compliments because she is open to being vulnerable and enjoys connections with others who are being generous with their words and care.

Now, which kind of Superwoman are you? One that does it all herself and feels drained and resentful or one who is open and receptive to help, gifts and compliments? Take a moment to sit in stillness with this question.

If receiving causes you emotional distress, it is important to question why that is. Why are you uncomfortable? Is it because you’ve decided that for the person who is offering you a favor, you’ll owe her/him something in return? Or that the person is too busy and doesn’t really mean it?

Have you decided that the person complimenting you is just being nice, but her words couldn’t possibly be true about you?

All these reasons for rejecting or dismissing safe help or kind, sincere compliments are rooted in fear and control.

As a true Superwoman, you don’t need to receive from people you don’t feel safe with, nor should you receive what causes you physical or emotional distress. As a true Superwoman, you need to cherish your being and use wise discernment.

But if the offer is coming from someone you do feel safe with and it would be helpful, releasing you from the task of doing something all by yourself, can you receive that? And if someone compliments your looks or something about your personality, can you just say a plain “thank you” with a smile?

Let’s take a look at the fear and control factor. To reject an offer for help because you think that your friend can’t afford the time is trying to control another person’s reality. You are fearing that they don’t know themselves well enough to make healthy decisions regarding their time and energy. You are driving in their lane of life.

To reject or dismiss a compliment is an attempt to decide someone’s experience of you. And perhaps fearing that you can’t possibly live up to what they are experiencing.

But can you imagine stepping into new shoes? Imagine being a woman who feels safe with her vulnerability to receive.

A true Superwoman trusts others to own their own reality; if they offer help, they mean it. And if they feel taxed by their offer, then they will have learned an important lesson in self-care—the lesson being “don’t offer if you can’t—the other person just may say yes! and take you up on it.”

A true Superwoman owns her own reality as well; she trusts herself to know when she is able to give, how much, and to whom. If she wants to do a favor, then she does. She knows her capabilities and limitations. She knows who she wants connection with and whom she doesn’t.

A true Superwoman receives help graciously and trusts herself to know whether she wants what the other person is offering. She also discerns who is offering. If she does not want a connection with that person or has found that person to be untrustworthy in the past, then she says “no thank you.”

A true Superwoman receives compliments with humility and a simple “thank you” because she trusts that this is how the person experiences her. And she receives that with grace.

Each time that you as a woman reject an offer from someone safe, you are rejecting that person. And each time you dismiss a compliment, you are rejecting the person giving the compliment. And each of these times, you are also rejecting yourself and your powerful femininity.

Being a true Superwoman means being vulnerable. Vulnerable to connection with others and vulnerable to the reality that you are human and can’t do everything yourself. There is no shame in that.

Since I’ve been practicing this beautiful type of femininity—the ability to receive and to choose trust and vulnerability over control and fear—my life has changed remarkably, opening me up to more incredible connections with others and much more joy.

So today, I invite you to receive and tap into your powerful femininity. The universe will notice your awesome receptivity and miracles will happen. Enjoy the ride!

Need a helping hand? I invite you to schedule your Free Marriage Magic Clarity Call. As a Somatic healer, Relationship Expert & Clarity Coach, I help empower women to trust themselves through the wisdom of their bodies and intuition in their relationships, career and health. Looking forward to hearing your voice!

Download your free gift e-guide: 6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today!

If you’re dating, I’ve got an e-guide for you: Dating Magic

You’re also welcome to download another free gift e-guide: “3 Secrets to Solve Burnout and Get Energized the Mindbody Wellness Way” (also gives access to your free download of “Escape from the Borderline/Narcissist’s Web”).

Client love:

“Many challenging waves of emotions have been arising lately which I felt I did not have outlets or tools to deal with. I felt like all these emotions were sort of stuck within me. Miriam taught me more about my waves of emotions, how to access them, work through them, ride them, and rise above them. Many times emotions can be daunting and frightening to face, but with Miriam’s insightful and practical tools, they allowed me to discover how to manage during emotional challenges to arrive at a deeper and truer place within myself. I am joyful and thankful for all the work we did together and look forward to continuing to apply and integrate these wonderful coaching tools. Thank you : )”

A.C., Illinois

“I began working with Miriam not only to resolve the back pain I was experiencing but also to do deep emotional releasing that had built up over a period of time for me, especially in relation to working with highly difficult individuals. Miriam showed me some powerful processes that I deeply needed to shift both emotional and physical tension and through this work, I developed much better awareness of the mind-body connection and how I can ‘listen’ to the signals my body gives me. I now feel so much more empowered in making choices that align with what my soul and body needs. Without her support, I would have had a very hard time making changes and letting go of toxic relationships and situations that weren’t serving me anymore. Am very grateful for her support on this journey with me!”

K.W., Manchester, UK

Love & Blessings,

Miriam Racquel (Meryl)

Somatic Healer, Relationship Expert & Clarity Coach

YourMarriageMagic.com

May 19, 2021

Thrive In Your Marriage and Become Whole!

Mindbody Marriage Magic Tips

Dear Awesome Woman,

Strange time that we’re in now, isn’t it? The world is topsy turvy with lots of changes. And the quarantine aspect brought on a whole new level of stress and awareness. So, how can you thrive in your relationship rather than get stuck in resentment, annoyance and distance?

When we are emotionally triggered by someone, our minds fill with judgement.

“How could they have done that?! They’re so ___________.” And you fill in the blank. Your body probably fills with stress and tension, and communicates that to you through tight shoulders, constricted lungs and/or a clenched jaw (leading to a headache later on).

There are many ways to deal with this emotional triggering and tension through using Mindbody Wellness. Today, I’ll share one way that can ease your stress and better your relationships.

Any kind of judgement, whether it’s towards the self or towards others, is a huge factor in creating tension in the body. This tension can cause painful mindbody symptoms, those aches and pain ailments that seem to have a physical explanation —plantar fasciitis—it’s the shoes; migraine—it’s the weather—but really are the result of inner emotional tension. It’s something inside of us rather than outside of us.

And the strain to a relationship when we’re judgy is apparent.

But what can we do? It can be so challenging living and breathing in close quarters with others—their personalities, their habits, their patterns—and ours! For sure, we’re not going to like everything someone else does.

But perhaps your soul is wanting something else from you during these strange times. Maybe it’s about dropping some ego and some blind spots and becoming whole. Maybe there is an opportunity here to thrive here and become closer.

Becoming whole means owning all your parts—the good, the bad and the ugly. It may be easy to see what you like about yourself, but most of us hide from our bad and ugly. Or it’s easy to think that we don’t even have the bad and ugly, but we for sure know that others do! It’s easy to point the finger at someone else and judge them for being lazy, selfish, stupid, foolish, arrogant, cheap, irresponsible, inept, messy etc. These judgements are normal and human. They are also projections of ourselves that G-d, the Universe, Source, is showing outside of us in order to integrate what is inside of us. These judgements are our shadow parts. And we’ve been rejecting them for years.

Let this time now be a spiritual time of change— a time to accept, love and embrace ourselves more wholly. And by doing this we will also find more love and compassion for others. Our health will improve as will our relationships. Less judgement and tension, more inner and outer peace.

All this is not to say that we should ignore our ability for wise discernment. Nope—that would be a big mindbody “no-no.” Our bodies communicate with us for a reason and often it’s to discern what’s okay for us and what is not okay for us.

Let’s take a pause and quickly explore the difference between judgement and discernment.

Discernment is when there is a neutrality around what we are seeing in someone else. It’s a noticing, an awareness of someone’s personality trait. An acceptance. We are free to like or dislike what we are noticing especially when it has a negative consequence for us. We do need to notice how someone’s behavior affects us. Like when a co-worker is continuously late or a friend doesn’t follow through on commitments or when a child leaves messes around or a spouse is critical. Using wise discernment, we take action and/or speak up. It’s our job to keep ourselves safe, healthy and whole.

Judgement differs from discernment in the sense that it’s very loud and mighty. There’s also the belief that we are more perfect than the other person and that we would never do what they are doing.

By owning what we are judging in another we can be free. We can let go of the inner tension of trying to hide from our shadow and free up the energy of holding something at bay.

I invite you to try this exercise to better your marriage though it can be used for other relationships as well.

OWNING YOUR SHADOW SELF

When your mind is saying things like this:

He is irresponsible.

He is lazy.

He is so selfish.

He is so impractical. How could he think that could work?

He is inept at his job.

He makes bad decisions.

1) Notice the tension inside your body—where do you feel it? Just notice it.

2) Now, put one hand out in front of you, palm up and say: “I am ___________.” Fill in the blank with the judgement word that you have pasted on the other person. Find in your life where you are not perfect and where you do exactly what you’re complaining about the other person.

3) Take a deep belly breath in and release.

4) Now put the other hand out, palm up and say the opposite of that judgement word.

5) Take another deep belly breath in and release.

6) Now with both palms up say: “Sometimes I am _______ and sometimes I am ________. I am both. I am willing to own all my parts.”

7) Notice if the tension inside you has relaxed a bit.

With the earlier sentences, it would look like this:

One hand out, palm up and say: “I am irresponsible when ….” — find circumstances where you acted irresponsibly. Breathe. And then the other hand out, palm up, say: “I am also responsible.” Breathe. Then with both palms up, say: “Sometimes I am responsible and sometimes I am irresponsible. I am both; I am willing to own all my parts.”

One hand out, palm up and say: “I am lazy when….” Breathe. And then the other hand out, palm up, say: “I am also not lazy (or I am also productive).” Breathe. Then with both palms up, say: “Sometimes I am lazy and sometimes I am productive. I am both. I am willing to own all my parts.”

One hand out, palm up and say: “ I am selfish when …” Breathe. And then the other hand out, palm up, say: “I am also generous.” Breathe. Then with both palms up, say: “Sometimes I am generous and sometimes I am selfish. I am both. I am willing to own all my parts.”

One hand out, palm up and say: “I am impractical. I did this ….and those things were very impractical.” Breathe. And then the other hand out, palm up, say: “I am also practical.” Breathe. Then with both palms up, say: “Sometimes I am practical and sometimes I am impractical. I am both. I am willing to own all my parts.”

One hand out, palm up and say: “I am also inept when ….” Breathe. And then the other hand out, palm up, say: “I am not inept. I am competent.” Then with both palms up, say: “Sometimes I am competent and sometimes I am inept. I am both. I am willing to own all my parts.”

One hand out, palm up and say: “I make bad decisions when ….” Breathe. And then the other hand out, palm up, say: “I also make good decisions.” Breathe. Then with both palms up, say: “Sometimes I make great decisions and sometimes I make bad decisions. I do both. I am willing to own all my parts.”

Get the drift?

This little exercise may sting a bit and that is the ego letting go of its self-identity. It’s dissolving and that can feel uncomfortable at first. But when you get into the habit of owning all your parts, it’s extremely freeing, releases tension in your body and improves relationships with others. Your husband will especially appreciate and feel emotionally safer living in a judgement free home.

Need a helping hand? I offer Marriage Magic sessions when you desire to increase the emotional safety, love, and connection in your relationship. I invite you to schedule your 20-minute free Marriage Magic Clarity Call. As a Somatic healer, Relationship Expert & Clarity Coach, I help empower women to trust themselves through the wisdom of their bodies and intuition in their relationships, career and health. Looking forward to hearing your voice!

Download your free gift e-guide: 6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today!

If you’re dating, I’ve got an e-guide for you: Dating Magic

Sharing a few testimonials from clients whose lives have been transformed and you can check out more Client Love here.

“It’s been several weeks now since beginning to work with Miriam, and I’m so happy that I decided to take a chance on somatic healing. Miriam’s grounded, intuitive approach has been most helpful in recognizing and overcoming old patterns of self-sabotage. I can gladly say that the work has had a positive effect both personally and professionally. Thank you, Miriam, for your insightful support and clarity!”

– E., New York

“Many challenging waves of emotions have been arising lately which I felt I did not have outlets or tools to deal with. I felt like all these emotions were sort of stuck within me. Miriam taught me more about my waves of emotions, how to access them, work through them, ride them, and rise above them. Many times emotions can be daunting and frightening to face, but with Miriam’s insightful and practical tools, they allowed me to discover how to manage during emotional challenges to arrive at a deeper and truer place within myself. I am joyful and thankful for all the work we did together and look forward to continue to apply and integrate these wonderful coaching tools. Thank you : )”

– A.C., Illinois

N.C.G., Atlanta, Georgia

Love & blessings,

Miriam Racquel

Master Mindbody/Somatic Healer & Relationship Expert

April 11, 2021

Quick Marriage Magic Tune-Up Tip—Marriage, Not Disney

Quick Marriage Magic Tune-Up Tip—Marriage, Not Disney

Quick Marriage Magic Tune-Up Tip—Disney and Hollywood sold false expectations of the reality of relationships.

As Alain de Botton says so clearly “..the classic Romantic model has sold us on a number of self-defeating beliefs about the most essential and nuanced experiences of human life: love, infatuation, marriage ..”

Marriage, even in Judaism with the belief in “soul mates,” recognizes that conflict, growth, accepting imperfectionism etc. is organic to the relationship itself (a great way to accept imperfection in yourself and others is by owning your shadow parts— “A Simple Way to Drop Judgement, Relieve Tension and Improve Your Relationships”).

Alain de Botton continues “My view of human nature is that all of us are just holding it together in various ways — and that’s okay, and we just need to go easy with one another, knowing that we’re all these incredibly fragile beings.”

Step in the right direction: It’s such a brave act to attempt to partner up with someone and false ideas of how relationships “should be” could lead us away from our loved ones instead of closer together. Step into kindness and compassion for yourself and your partner. Celebrate each other for taking the risk of commitment, love and vulnerability.

Download your free gift e-guide: 6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today!

If you’re dating, I’ve got an eguide for you: Dating Magic

#marriage #wellness #peaceinthehome #enjoyyourmarriage #mindbodywisdom

“It’s been several weeks now since beginning to work with Miriam, and I’m so happy that I decided to take a chance on somatic healing. Miriam’s grounded, intuitive approach has been most helpful in recognizing and overcoming old patterns of self-sabotage. I can gladly say that the work has had a positive effect both personally and professionally. Thank you, Miriam, for your insightful support and clarity!”

– E., New York

“Many challenging waves of emotions have been arising lately which I felt I did not have outlets or tools to deal with. I felt like all these emotions were sort of stuck within me. Miriam taught me more about my waves of emotions, how to access them, work through them, ride them, and rise above them. Many times emotions can be daunting and frightening to face, but with Miriam’s insightful and practical tools, they allowed me to discover how to manage during emotional challenges to arrive at a deeper and truer place within myself. I am joyful and thankful for all the work we did together and look forward to continue to apply and integrate these wonderful coaching tools. Thank you : )”

– A.C., Illinois

Love & blessings,

Miriam Racquel

Somatic Healer, Relationship Expert & Clarity Coach

YourMarriageMagic.com

MiriamRacquel.com

April 5, 2021

Mindbody Awareness to Relax Your Nervous System & Better Your Marriage

Marriage Magic Tip

Dear Awesome Woman,

As a woman, you may be so busy in your mind and your life, that your body is overcharged with adrenaline and cortisol. Your nervous system may feel like it is being chased by a lion, living in a state of constant fight and flight. Tapping into mindbody awareness and actively doing something to care for your nervous system can bring a sense of safety into your being. This safer energy will radiate out into your marriage creating a more loving and kind space.

Here’s a few tips for relaxing your nervous system:

Practice a Simple, Short Sense Spot Meditation:

Close your eyes and notice what you are hearing. Throw your hearing out in all directions as far as it can go. Just listen.

Breathe in and feel your breath being inhaled and exhaled.

Sense what your clothes feel like on your body. Also, sense the way your body feels in the chair you are sitting on. Feel your feet on the ground. If you’re outside, notice the sun on your face, the breeze passing you by.

Taste what you taste in your mouth.

Open your eyes slowly and take in what you see with a wide, relaxed vision.

Do Sticker Breathing:

Oftentimes if you are so busy racing to get your to-do list done, you may forget to breathe consciously. This lack of awareness and breath constricts muscles in your body. To get into the present moment, put a few stickers on places throughout your home. A few times a day (you decide on a number— 3- 5 would be terrific) take a pause when you come across the sticker, and breathe a deep inhale in and release. You can also bring your arms over your head, curl your fingers onto the top of your crown (it makes a heart shape) and get that expansion in your chest. Relax any parts of you that are holding tight. Pay particular awareness to your stomach and back area where you may tend to hold tension.

Bring Mindbody Awareness into Difficult Interactions:

Notice what your body is telling you when you are having a difficult interaction with your husband. Does your stomach clench, your breath constrict, your jaw clench? These are actual emotional responses being conveyed to you through your physical sensations. You can put your hand on those places which allows the energy to flow instead of getting stuck. Getting professional guidance is helpful to understanding what your mind and body are telling you. The way you may be interpreting things can stem from childhood wounding, trauma, past resentments, misunderstandings etc. and not necessarily the present moment. I developed a somatic release technique that helps process resentment, pain, trauma and sadness and has been a health lifesaver for me as well as my clients—it’s called the ROAR! Process. When combined with the practical tips of my free marriage e-guide, 6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today!, it’s a great tool for helping women move from negative rumination in their marriages and step into a higher vibe where more love can grow.

Bring a Compassionate Angel in to Help:

When there is something important to speak to your spouse about or if there is a conflict going on, try to bring a compassionate angel into your imagination. Your imagination is a powerful tool for living. As you may have done before, when you imagine the worst case scenarios, your body will be in fear as if that event is happening at the moment. So you can also use your imagination for good too! Imagining that there is a spiritual figure that is higher than this physical world—seeing and understanding everything, uplifts the situation that you are in at the moment. Your energy will shift (you will feel safer) and that will help bring wise words for you to speak. Your spouse will also feel safer—energy is tangible. When we are scared or angry (and sometimes we need to be to set boundaries), dialogue can be confrontational. Bringing a compassionate angel into your imagination can create a more peaceful solution.

A version of this article was also published in Nishei Magazine for Jewish Women

Download your free gift e-guide: 6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today!

If you’re dating, I’ve got an e-guide for you: Dating Magic

I reached out to Miriam Racquel shortly after I had just gotten married as my marriage was not turning out to be the fairytale I had always dreamed it to be. Within just a few sessions I began feeling so empowered to make positive, lasting changes in my marriage that I had control over, and the wisdom I have accessed through Miriam Racquel’s help has truly transformed my marriage into the playful, passionate one that I have always desired. I love the mind-body healing work that Miriam Racquel infuses into her sessions. These practices have allowed me to release my emotions in a powerful way and give me a great sense of relief, validation, and confidence to help me move forward with love.

N.C.G., Atlanta, Georgia

Love and blessings,

Miriam Racquel

Somatic Healer, Relationship Expert & Clarity Coach

YourMarriageMagic.com

MiriamRacquel.com

March 16, 2021

3 Tips to Making a Good Marriage Even Better And Repairing One That’s Not

Marriage Magic Tips

Dear Awesome Woman,

I’ve been married for most of my adult life and for many of those years I did not follow nor even know of the Marriage Magic tips that I’m sharing with you here. And my marriage and health paid the price. Now, it’s been about eight years that I’ve been practicing these and what a difference! There are other Mindbody Wellness techniques I use along with these tips—ones to clear resentment, deal with disappointment, own my shadows, set boundaries and limits, and practice major self-care—all that help create a home of greater emotional safety and love.

And though I am not perfect and slip at times, the foundation is so much stronger that the slip up is only a minor bump on the road instead of leading to lost nights of sleep and conflict as in the past. I invite you to use these tips and know that each time practiced is a golden nugget in your marriage bank account:

1) Sacred Silence — If you can, try remaining silent when you feel the urge to correct the way your husband does something, wears something or speaks something. Sometimes as women we can think that “we know better”, but it’s a knock to our husband’s self-esteem to constantly correct him. Instead do an act of sacred silence. I was fortunate to train with relationship expert, Laura Doyle, and she tells women to put on the “duct tape.” It’s amazing the amount of peace that I’ve had when I choose not to put my two cents in with everything my husband does. Obviously there are times to communicate and things to say, but jumping onto our partner’s side of the court is not as necessary as often as we think and can cause friction and a belittling of our husband’s faith in himself.

2) Send Your Husband Appreciations —Throughout the week, share WhatsApp messages, texts, little notes or spoken words of gratitude towards your husband. It’s not only for his benefit in feeling like a star in your eyes, but it’s also a great habit for us to “never take anything for granted.” You can say thank you and add a quality or feeling to the appreciation—point out that when he listens to your worries, that you feel emotionally supported; when he takes the kids out to the park, you get the needed break that you so desperately desired; that when he does the shopping, you appreciate his dedication to the family; that when he works, that you appreciate him taking responsibility. By pointing out the little things that make him your hero, you’ll have a man who feels like he can make his wife happy. He’s getting the most important thing in life right and that is his relationship with you. Even if you feel disgruntled over the things he doesn’t do — these appreciations are like gold nuggets in your marriage bank account and things can shift for the better.

3) Your Feelings Count — Emotions are “energy in motion” and present as physical sensations in your body. When you put your awareness on them—the clenching of the jaw, the tension in the chest, the nervousness in the stomach—the energy flows. This benefits your body as well as provides important intuitive guidance for you that shows up as an image, a neutral thought or a word. This is also an act of self-compassion—taking the time to be honest with yourself and go within. We’re less likely to lash out at our husbands when we are kind to ourselves. I’ve developed the ROAR! Process as a somatic release technique to help process trauma, grief, frustration, anger and other strong emotions. Used in marriage, it can help release built up resentment and clear the path for renewed love.

Need a helping hand? I invite you to schedule your free Marriage Magic Clarity Call. As a Somatic healer, Relationship Expert & Clarity Coach, I help empower women to trust themselves through the wisdom of their bodies and intuition in their relationships, career and health. Looking forward to hearing your voice!

Download your free gift e-guide: 6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today!

If you’re dating, I’ve got an e-guide for you: Dating Magic

N.C.G., Atlanta, Georgia

“Miriam’s support has been nothing short of a blessing. She guided me through an intensely stressful period of my life with laser focus and crystal clarity. I’m thankful to expand my team of angels and look forward to continuing to evolve with her!”

–LauraLee, Boulder, CO

Sending love & blessings,

Miriam Racquel Feldman

Somatic Healer, Relationship Expert & Clarity Coach

MiriamRacquel.com

March 3, 2021

Quick Marriage Magic Tune-Up Tip — Holding Space

Quick Marriage Magic Tune-Up Tip: Believe and hold space for the fact that people can change for the better.

My husband and I have known each other a really long time, and yet who we are today is so different than our younger selves. We’ve grown older, yes, and much wiser. Believing and holding space for the fact that people can change for the better (and believing in miracles!) is a spiritual and practical practice 🙂

Step in the right direction: Notice miracles in your life. The more you put our attention on something the more energy flows there. Choose to put your attention on miracles and be open with gratitude to more coming your way. Jot down a few gratitudes a day starting with this line: Never take anything for granted. And if some are about your husband, awesome! Tell him or message him those.

***Even when we start bringing our awareness to the good things going on in our life, the things that we don’t take for granted, we don’t want to ignore what’s hurting us. Gratitude is not a replacement for honesty with ourselves. I invite you to schedule your Free Clarity Call and consider purchasing marriage magic healing/coaching sessions. Sometimes it’s just small tweaks that can make huge differences in your relationship! Somatic/Mindbody healing is the way to accomplish this—we get to core emotions and subconscious beliefs, releasing on a somatic level what is not serving you in your relationship. The results are permanent and profound.

#marriage #wellness #peaceinthehome #enjoyyourmarriage #mindbodywisdom

Need a helping hand? Wanting to have peace in your home without losing yourself in the process? I invite you to schedule your Free Marriage Magic Clarity Call. As a Somatic healer, Relationship Expert & Clarity Coach, I help empower women to trust themselves through the wisdom of their bodies and intuition in their relationships, career and health. Looking forward to hearing your voice!

Download your free gift e-guide:6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today!

If you’re dating, I’ve got an eguide for you: Dating Magic

“The sessions were probably the most impactful self help I have ever received. Miriam’s skill in understanding and connecting to my emotional struggles were very comforting and was what helped me grow exponentially from our time together. I am so grateful for the clarity I gained through our work together and most importantly the strong connection I now have with my intuitive wisdom which I know will help me overcome any challenge life brings my way.”

– C.S., New York

“I came to Miriam Racquel because I wanted peace and for my husband to be aware of his irrational, angry and defensive behavior. I knew I had to grow/shift for this to transpire. Through our work I regained my center and sense of self and self esteem that I didn’t even realize I had lost! I gained Realization that I had to have healthy boundaries and self respect so I didn’t “allow him” to behave this way to me. It’s the happiest I’ve ever been in my marriage. He is a completely different person. Actually he’s his “true” self – kind, loving, warm! When I became non-reactive to his irrational, highly defensive and uncalled for behavior, stood my ground with dignity, relative calm and self respect, I became like a mirror for him and he was able to SEE himself and begin his process of growth.”

Client prefers to remain anonymous

Love and blessings,

Miriam Racquel (Meryl)

Somatic Healer, Relationship Expert & Clarity Coach

MiriamRacquel.com

February 17, 2021

Is Honesty the Best Policy in Your Marriage?

Is Honesty the Best Policy in Your Marriage?

Marriage Magic Tips

Dear Awesome Woman,

Growing up in American culture, I was taught to speak my mind honestly:

“Say what you mean.”

“Let people know what’s on your mind.”

“Don’t let anyone get away with anything.” “Speak up!”

“Honesty is the best policy.”

“Closeness means sharing what you really think.”

— this was the kind of philosophy that I was raised with.

Lo and behold, 20+ years into marriage, I realized that this philosophy does not hold suit. It was all a lie. So many fights and ups and downs came about through me thinking that this philosophy of honesty was critical in a marriage.

It was not.

What is important in a marriage is kindness, delicacy and respect. And these do not add up to being honest all the time. Nowadays, I am in agreement with Laura Doyle, the marriage expert I was fortunate to train with. She advises women to often “put on the duct tape” and approach issues using feminine wisdom. This is respect.

And it is this philosophy that brings peace to the home.

Does it mean keeping everything in, swallowing your thoughts, words and feelings? No and yes. Words are best swallowed when critical, degrading and judgmental. Words can be carefully tailored when spoken to your husband of the male species.

Thoughts and feelings, on the other hand, no—do not swallow those. As a somatic healer and clarity coach who works with clients (including my own self!), thoughts and feelings can always be expressed—at least to oneself and on paper. Emotions are ‘energy in motion’ and that energy does need to be listened to and allowed to flow. Your emotions have wisdom for you, are deeply connected to your body and pave the way for you to hear your inner guidance system—your intuition. This mindbody soul connection can guide you in all your relationships. But your man doesn’t always have to hear the nitty gritty of the process.

So, next time that you feel annoyed at your hubby for the socks on the floor, the mess in the bathroom, or his lateness, don’t lash out in honesty. Instead, dive into your emotions, write out your angry thoughts on paper (and then rip it up), and approach the subject with feminine wisdom and intuition. You may realize that the issue isn’t a big deal and tap into gratitude for all the amazing things your husband does do. Or you can use communication techniques that honor your feelings with a respectful kind of honesty and don’t require attacking your man. Here are two communication tools to try :

1) Numerous studies have shown that a husband’s greatest wish is to make his wife happy (unless he is a Narcissist/Borderline). I know that if your marriage is in a difficult place, it can look and feel differently than this, but magical shifts can happen when a woman expresses her desires, without expectations and in a kind and respectful way. Try this: make a request using “I’d love” or “I’d like” without expectation energy and without the “you” word. Want the toilet lid down? How about “I’d love the toilet lid kept down.” Want a picture hung up on the wall? How about trying, “I’d love this picture hung up. I love being surrounded by beautiful memories.” Then give him the space to decide the when and the how. He may choose to hire someone else to do it, but either way he’ll know clearly what will make his wife happy and will feel respected in the ‘clean’ approach.

2) What happens if you feel criticized by your husband? Laura Doyle suggests (and it’s a brilliant one!) saying “Ouch.” And just leave it at that. Don’t go into the whole story and get into a back and forth. This word “ouch” is powerful enough to let your husband know that he said something hurtful to the one he loves.

Your home will be much more peaceful when you are careful with your honesty and your words.

Need a helping hand? I invite you to schedule your Free Marriage Magic Clarity Call. As a Somatic healer, Relationship Expert & Clarity Coach, I help empower women to trust themselves through the wisdom of their bodies and intuition in their relationships, career and health. Looking forward to hearing your voice!

Download your free gift e-guide: 6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today!

If you’re dating, I’ve got an e-guide for you: Dating Magic

YourMarriageMagic.com

“Miriam Racquel has the unique ability to invite you to HEAL. Releasing pain, dismantling mental distortions and replacing those with truths, and gaining new perspectives improved my emotional well-being, physical health, and personal/family relationships. She is a pleasure to work with: I leave smiling and encouraged! She has breadth of training & resources, which I’m grateful to continue to learn from. Thank you, Miriam Racquel!”

L.H., Utah

Love & blessings,

Miriam Racquel (Meryl)

Somatic Healer, Relationship Expert & Clarity Coach