Monday Marriage Magic Tip: The Parking Spot
Marriage Mindbody Magic
Dear Awesome Woman,
I was on a podcast with my husband the other day and the subject of male culture came up. I shared that something that is so normal in women’s culture like telling a friend about a parking spot is totally not normal in male culture.
Women in a car together have no problem pointing out a great parking spot and encouraging the female driver to park there. But in male culture, another man would never tell, suggest or advise his friend where to park. It would be considered downright insulting. It would mean that he doesn’t trust that his friend is smart enough or capable enough to park the car.
This is a small example of the differences between male and female culture, but it is a huge example of how different men and women are from each other.
As marriage expert Laura Doyle says, “what is helpful in female language, is controlling in male language.” I was fortunate to train with her and though I don’t hold by everything she shares, I learned a lot about the differences between men and women.
The Marriage Tip for Today?
Be sensitive to the fact that your husband comes from a different culture and what is simple and straightforward to you, is not to him. As I’ve mentioned before in other marriage newsletters as well as in the marriage e-guide (6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today!) know what your desire or preference is and state it using, “I’d love ….” without the word “you.” (Not “I want…”; Not “Could you…?; Not “Let’s…”)
Ex. “I’d love to park close to the restaurant so I don’t have to walk far with my heels.”
As silly as this example may be, so much tension can be avoided in a marriage by “getting” your husband’s culture.
Here’s a great article that brings this point home: A Quiz! How Defensive is Your Husband?
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