Trauma Responses & Your Marriage
Marriage Somatic/Mindbody Magic
Dear Awesome Woman,
What is your go-to trauma response?
*Fight
*Attach/Cry for Help
*Please and Appease (Fawn)
*Freeze
*Collapse/Submit
*Flight
What is your husband’s?
As children, we’ve all experienced wounding from our homes and school environment. Depending on our personalities and on the difficult situation/people we’ve encountered, our go-to trauma response developed. And we carry these go-to responses into our most intimate relationship. Our marriage.
When we change up our go-to response in our marriage, true healing can begin. It means we’ve given our inner child enough healing/compassion/understanding so that our wise adult self can come on board and decide our best response in the moment.
If your husband is a “fighter,” and you’re used to “pleasing and appeasing,” but instead speak up and use strong assertive words wisely, that changes the dynamics and can actually create more connection in the future because you’re being an adult, not a child.
You’re seeing what the situation calls for and making a decision to speak up effectively for yourself (*a caveat—please re-read previous newsletters, 6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today!, and blog posts to double check that you’re not being too controlling and putting your husband in a trauma response. Of course, we’re not perfect, but oftentimes wives don’t realize the “little things” they say or do make their husbands feel small, disrespected, or controlled).
If your husband is a retreater (flight response) and you tend to be a fighter, then going after him to “make” him respond to you or “deal” with the situation at hand isn’t effective. As a fighter, putting down your swords (“words”) and shifting your energy with a breath and pause (giving space), may be the best response for resolving a conflict.
Peace, love, and connection in the home is such a gift for our nervous systems, mental health, and children. It’s one of the gateways to our joy of life. It’s worth healing our little selves to have this.
Need a helping hand? Schedule your free 20-minute Marriage Magic Call today.
Enjoy a PEACEFUL marriage and home and remain EMPOWERED as an individual.
As a Somatic Healer, Marriage Coach, and Trauma & Anxiety Specialist, I help empower women to trust themselves through the wisdom of their bodies and intuition in their relationships, careers, and health.
***Emotional/Physical Pain Relief
***Trauma and Anxiety Release
***Marriage Magic
***Dating Help
***Borderline/Grandiose Relationship Detox
***Career Clarity
Somatic/Mindbody Healing is not just talk therapy! Discover your clear path to empowerment and joy now.
“I worked with Miriam for six sessions. It has helped me enormously with many issues. I have been able to make changes in relationships and release pain from trauma. Miriam has taught me tools to use regularly to release tension. These tools are simple and quick which makes it easy to implement them. I am very glad that I reached out to Miriam. Her warmth, kindness and understanding are truly comforting!” – G.K., California
“There is much more ease and lightness in my daily life. I am so thankful for the work Miriam offers and I would recommend her to any woman seeking support or guidance in their life.” – Miryam La Pearl
More Client testimonials here!
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My husband, Dovid Feldman, LPC, and I also have something unique to offer!
We’re a Licensed Marriage Therapist and Coach Team, utilizing traditional and Somatic Methods to bring peace, joy, love, and intimacy back into your relationship.
Go to: DovidFeldman.com.
“I HIGHLY recommend Miriam and Dovid’s program!!!! They are wonderful and amazing people!!” – Julie Cedano
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PURCHASE BOOKS HERE!
Somatic Healing for the Modest Goddess
“This book is incredibly practical, with exercises and insights that are easy to apply to daily life. Highly recommend for anyone looking for practical somatic tools to deepen their mind-body connection!” – Chaya Hanoka
Miriam Racquel shares very practical strategies about how we can banish negative thoughts so that they are OUT of our bodies and don’t cause us to feel sickness and pain. I also like that the book is divided up into different sections, like dating, marriage, parenting, careers, friendships, etc. In those chapters, she addresses challenges that most of us have in our lives, and how to tackle them so that they don’t cause us further emotional harm. Somatic Healing for the Modest Goddess is for people who truly want to heal themselves–mind, body, and soul.” — Vera Kessler
And enjoy my memoir, God Said What?! #MyOrthodoxLife, for a humorous and authentic journey into the world of Kabbalistic Judaism.
“I could not stop laughing and I could not stop reading it. I didn’t want it to end!” – Simcha Cohen
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Feel free to forward this to friends. I believe that all women can benefit from understanding the wisdom of their bodies, their emotions, and their souls.
Love & blessings,
Miriam Racquel (Meryl)
