Mindbody/Somatic Marriage Magic Tip : Winners or Losers?
Mindbody/Somatic Marriage Magic Tip : Winners or Losers?
Marriage Mindbody Magic
Dear Awesome Woman,
Every morning we have a choice. We can look at our spouse as a winner or a loser. And he can do the same for us.
We can’t control our husband’s perspective on us, but we can control how we look at him.
Now, this is a tricky thing. Our mind has many thoughts running through it, and our hearts, many feelings. But our thoughts affect our bodies and our bodies affect our thoughts.
We have choices.
With my somatic approach to marriage and all relationships, I don’t suggest ignoring what you don’t like. However, adjustments can be made, grace can be chosen, and humanness can be recognized. Paradigm shifts can be created, and resentment released.
If something that your husband does, feels cringy or uncomfortable to you — recognize that. Give yourself compassion, grace, kindness, recognition and allow yourself to not like something. That’s okay. You can even ROAR! about it (a somatic release technique I share in my book).
At the same time, recognize that Disney and Hollywood sold false expectations of the reality of relationships.
As philosopher Alain de Botton says so clearly “..the classic Romantic model has sold us on a number of self-defeating beliefs about the most essential and nuanced experiences of human life: love, infatuation, marriage ..”
Marriage, even in Judaism with the belief in “soul mates,” recognizes that conflict, growth, accepting imperfectionism, etc. is organic to the relationship itself.
As de Botton says, “My view of human nature is that all of us are just holding it together in various ways — and that’s okay, and we just need to go easy with one another, knowing that we’re all these incredibly fragile beings.”
It’s such a brave act to attempt to partner up with someone and false ideas of how relationships “should be” could lead us away from our loved ones instead of closer together.
It’s time to see you and your spouse as winners!
Somatic Tips for today:
**Do a gratitude practice daily — Have a dry erase board by your bed. In the morning before leaving your room, make it a habit to jot down this phrase: Never Take Anything For Granted — So Much Good is Happening! and then proceed to jot down 7-10 things that if they were gone today, you’d miss them. Include 3-5 things about your husband. What can you be grateful for? Entitlement is a lousy vibe; gratitude is a great one.
**Tell your husband what he gets right by you. A Whatsapp message, a thoughtful note, a sharing of words. Tell him how you see him as a winner!
** Do the ROAR! Process on what doesn’t feel good.
**Celebrate yourself daily (read ARMS UP article!) — I shared this at two somatic workshops recently and the women loved it! I do it daily and when I don’t, I get grumpy!
**Read and Do Shadow Process! Oftentimes, what we get triggered by in someone else, we own as a shadow in ourselves. It doesn’t mean that they don’t have that icky character trait, but it does mean that we may have a similar one!
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Feel free to forward this to friends. I believe that all women can benefit from understanding the wisdom of their bodies, their emotions, and their souls.
Love & blessings,
Miriam Racquel (Meryl)
