Monday Marriage Magic Tips: Advice Giving or…Maybe Not?
Monday Marriage Magic Tips: Advice Giving or…Maybe Not?
Marriage Somatic/Mindbody Magic
Dear Awesome Woman,
Ever have the best advice in the entire universe to give to your son, daughter, husband, or friend and….it’s rejected when your words leave your mouth? Yuck.
They don’t want to hear it. Or they listen politely, but then pretty much reject it.
With your husband especially, it can be a hard knock because he’ll turn off immediately with the beginning phrase, “You should…” or “If I were you, I would…”?
Or even worse, he’ll get annoyed and bite back.
What is it about advice giving that often backfires with your spouse?
You have great ideas to share! And experiences that you’ve learned from! Isn’t it unfair to your spouse not to share?! Why should he fall into a pothole when he can be saved from that? Why should he make a mistake when he doesn’t need to?
Marriage Somatic Tips for Today:
Pay attention to your energy. Are you coming with “know-it-all energy”?
Are you coming with “should energy” (as in “he should”) which is for sure a turn off to many, not just our spouses. No matter how smart our advice is.
Try this instead:
Take a step back and breathe before saying anything. Be in the conversation with curiosity and ask yourself, “what is their truth at this moment?”
Step into their shoes.
Listen with wonder. Instead of focusing on yourself and the information that you know, turn your focus to “what’s in their lane that they are sharing with me?”
If you do have some input that you’d like to share, try starting with these softer phrases. They’re empowering to the other person and just may be received better:
“Have you considered this?…”
“I’ve seen results from…”
“This approach sometimes works…”
“I’m afraid about…” (see When There’s Tension With Your Husband Around Important Issues, Try This!)
With curiosity and wonder, I propose that the results from sharing what you know using these suggestions will bring closeness rather than distance, love and connection rather than confusion, shut down, and bite back.
Need a helping hand? Schedule your free 20-minute Marriage Magic Call today.
Enjoy a PEACEFUL marriage and home and remain EMPOWERED as an individual.
As a Somatic Healer, Marriage Coach, and Trauma & Anxiety Specialist, I help empower women to trust themselves through the wisdom of their bodies and intuition in their relationships, careers, and health.
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We’re a Licensed Marriage Therapist and Coach Team, utilizing traditional and Somatic Methods to bring peace, joy, love, and intimacy back into your relationship.
Go to: DovidFeldman.com.
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Somatic Healing for the Modest Goddess
“This book is incredibly practical, with exercises and insights that are easy to apply to daily life. Highly recommend for anyone looking for practical somatic tools to deepen their mind-body connection!” – Chaya Hanoka
Miriam Racquel shares very practical strategies about how we can banish negative thoughts so that they are OUT of our bodies and don’t cause us to feel sickness and pain. I also like that the book is divided up into different sections, like dating, marriage, parenting, careers, friendships, etc. In those chapters, she addresses challenges that most of us have in our lives, and how to tackle them so that they don’t cause us further emotional harm. Somatic Healing for the Modest Goddess is for people who truly want to heal themselves–mind, body, and soul.” — Vera Kessler
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Feel free to forward this to friends. I believe that all women can benefit from understanding the wisdom of their bodies, their emotions, and their souls.
Love & blessings,
Miriam Racquel (Meryl)
